"Ding ding ding ding..."
I hastily pulled my phone out my pocket and looked at the number. Nobody I knew. I touched the answer button.
"Yes?"
"Good news! You've won!"
Oh no! Another of those scam calls.
"Sorry... I... er..."
I never know how to end those things without sounding rude.
"You won..."
"Won what."
"The competition you entered."
"What competition?" I never enter any competitions.
"On watchhernaked.com..."
Oh my gosh! I turned bright red at the thought. I’d been tempted to look at the site. You know the sort. Naked girls cavorting. Well you do get tempted don’t you. And there’d been this little survey - 'Attitudes to Adult Entertainment ' it had said, and it asked a lot of questions. Well I’m a sucker for that sort of thing. I filled in all the answers. There were questions like 'What's your attitude to Nude Entertainment Videos' (that’s what they called them - Nude Entertainment Videos), 'What's your body type' (you had to choose from a series of pictures), 'Are you proud of your penis' (well I wasn’t going to say no to that), how big is your penis (slight exaggeration there)! and finally 'Would you like to assist at one of our Nude Entertainment Videos (of course I said yes - who wouldn't).
"Competition? I mean... I..." I gulped. I’d had to register and sign up for the site, give my phone number, but... well this was rather embarrassing.
"You completed the survey competition..."
"I didn’t realise it was a competition..."
"Well it was... and you won."
"Yes... But..."
"And you ticked the box giving us permission to contact you..."
Well of course I’d ticked the silly box. Whoever reads the terms and conditions.
"Yes... I suppose... but..."
"And you won..."
"Won what?"
"The survey competition of course. You get to come and assist, shall we say, at one of our Nude Entertainment Videos."
"Assist!" Oh my gosh! I’d never for a moment thought...
"If you pass the try out of course..."
"Try out?"
"Of course. We have to be happy that... well you’re a suitable person... it’s nude entertainment you know.. well some people just wouldn’t be suitable."
"I suppose not."
"So you'll come?"
My head was in a whirl. Assist at a nude entertainment video. See all those naked girls. In the flesh. Help out. Perhaps I'd have to... well I’d once heard about this boy who'd got a job sticking the pasties on the nipples of girls in a strip club. Why had no-one ever given me a job like that! And now it was being offered to me. I gulped.
"Well... Yes..." I gulped again. Oh my gosh!
"Excellent- the try out is a our office... NEV in the King Street office block. Do you know it?"
"Um... yes...". It was local. I’d probably been chosen because I was local.
"See you at five o'clock this afternoon then."
——-
Why had I said yes. Of course I wouldn’t go. Assist in making a nude entertainment movie! I wouldn’t do that... would I? Of course not. But as five o'clock approached the thought grew. I could just go along and check it out. It wasn’t as if it was any sort of well... pornographic site. It was just naked girls doing funny things, opening the door to the pizza delivery boy in the nude, accidentally locking themselves out the house in the nude, that sort of thing. It would be interesting to assist... who was I kidding I’d be seeing naked girls, real naked girls, completely nude. Of course I was going!
I arrived at the office block at five with my heart pounding a bit. I made my way to the top floor and the offices discreetly marked NEV. They didn’t exactly advertise what they did.
"Excuse me," I said to the pretty brunette on reception, had I seen her on one of the videos? The thought made me blush. "Excuse me I'm..."
"Here for the try-out?"
"Well yes."
"The competition winner?"
"Well yes."
She picked up the phone, "Mindy, the Try-out's here."
She turned to me, "Mindy will be along in a second. She'll take the casting photos."
"Casting photos? Why do I need casting photos."
"Casting directors insist on them. You can’t take part in a movie without."
Take part! I’d imagined myself in some menial role. Just along for the ride. But I was being offered a chance to take part. I’d be the pizza delivery boy finding the girl naked, or the hotel receptionist dealing with the girl locked out naked! I was really glad I came now. Of course they’d need to be sure I looked right.
"Oh good.. Right..." my mouth had gone dry and my heart was really pounding.
Mindy arrived carrying a large camera. She was the sort of chubby, fresh faced, girl with a blonde pony tail who combined a sort cheekiness and bossiness in a way that always made my cock twitch.
"This way," she said in her bossy voice. I was led into a nearby office. Not any sort of studio or anything, just an ordinary office.
"Front view..."
"Rear view..."
"Side view..."
"Thank you... and..."
"Are we finished?" I asked.
"Of course not. Those are the dressed casting shots, now we need the undressed..."
"Undressed?" What did she mean 'undressed'?
"The nude casting shots. We are Nude Entertainment Videos you know. The casting directors require nude casting shots."
"But..."
"Do you want to take part or not?"
"Well yes, of course, but...". I didn’t get any further.
"Nude casting shots then, you can put your clothes on the chair."
"But..." I didn’t know what to do. I could have run but... the idea of seeing the naked girl in reception was too much. Absent mindedly I sat down and took off my shoes and socks. Then I seemed to have committed myself. Before I knew where I was, I was down to my underpants. I hesitated. Not too late to back out...
"Completely nude..." Mindy looked quizzically, "Don’t worry. I’ve seen it all before."
"Yes of course..."
Of course she had. They made those sorts of films.
My face burned. She was so bossy and I was so embarrassed. But if it was the only way, and she said it was... I pulled my pants down and stood shamefaced in the nude.
"Front view... we need you standing feet set like this..." she demonstrated, "back arched, hands on head... that’s right..."
It was not a comfortable pose.
The office phone rang. Mindy answered it on speaker.
"How's he look?" an authoritative woman’s voice.
"Yeah... okay..."
"Big enough? He put down nine inches on the form"
Mindy surveyed me. Was she looking at my penis? She was!
"Marginal, but yeah... okay... I would guess only eight when it’s up but well proportioned."
"Are you finished?"
"Nearly... hang on a second," and to me, "don’t move..." back to the caller, "he's just in the pose."
And I was still holding the pose. Nude.
"Rear view, same pose..."
"And side view... okay... finished..."
"Good... bring him through then..."
"Come on through to the main office," she beckoned to me.
"But my clothes?"
"You won’t need them for the moment..."
"But..."
But she had her hand on my bum and was propelling me through the door. I stepped into the main office. It looked just like any main office, a solicitor's or accountants perhaps. Girls looked up from their desks and grinned. They came round to the front of their desks to watch.
A tall dark haired woman came over to me. She looked the sort who would be in charge.
"I’m Monica," she said, "time for the try-out."
"But I’ve got no clothes on."
"Well this is Nude Entertainment Videos. So you have to be nude to provide nude entertainment don't you."
"Well... I suppose...". I was being swept along with no control over events.
She looked me up and down.
"We like our male entertainers to be well... a bit better endowed... I mean you put down nine on the form and I don’t think you’re more than eight... but I think you’re right Mindy. Nicely proportioned. He'll do."
"Eight is quite big though!"
"Well, bigger than average, a lot bigger, but for this industry nine is the norm. Right, get filming Mindy, we'll put him through his paces. Can you sing?"
"Sing?"
"Well, a bit..."
"Go on then."
"But I don’t need to be in the nude to sing."
"You don’t need to be, but you’re going to be... Go on."
"Sing what?"
"I don’t know. It’s nearly Christmas. Sing 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer'."
*******
She made him sing 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' in the nude in the middle of the office. And we all had to keep a straight face. It nearly choked me!
********
I stammered out the song.
"And now a little dance. Put some music on Mindy."
"But... I don’t know if I want to..."
"Music Mindy!"
So I danced. Have you ever seen a boy dancing in the nude girls? Of course you have! Well if you haven’t let me explain. When you go up your cock goes down, and when you go down your cock goes up, when you go left your cock goes right, when you go right your cock goes left. The end result is that after thirty seconds your cock is rotating like a windmill - while your balls bounce up and down in time to the music! This has an alarming stimulant effect!
In a minute my cock was rigid and vertical, swaying from side to side like a pendulum.
Monica smiled.
"You’re right, Mindy," she said, "Eight inches, but well proportioned. We can see how he performs now."
"Please Miss," I whimpered, "I thought I had just performed."
"No, no... our viewers expect the film to end with a... well to have... what shall we call it... a happy ending.. orgasmic indeed."
"But..."
"Mindy, fetch out Marilyn..."
"Yes Miss."
"But it’s a sex doll!"
"I know that. What else can you demonstrate your pelvic thrusts on?"
"You mean I’ve got to... I mean... with the doll?"
"She's a deluxe model"
"She doesn’t look deluxe. Her right ear's on the wrong way round."
"Well somebody got overexcited with his cock in her mouth. Started pulling on her ears. Mindy had to stick it back on again."
"In her mouth. You can use her mouth?"
"Of course, and as a special treat you can choose which orifice to use. She’s a deluxe model, she’s got three of them!'
"Three?"
"Of course..."
"Oh... including the..."
"Very much so... and very much the favourite..."
"But won’t it be a bit… Well... I mean... a tight fit...."
"Of course it’s a tight fit... that’s why it’s a favourite."
"But I mean, I have got a big one..."
"Not that big..."
Oh my gosh. All the girls were watching. I was in the nude and my cock was rigid. My face burned with embarrassment. I didn’t know what to do.
"But..."
"Push hard it'll go in..."
"But..."
"Oh lubricate him Mindy for goodness sake. He's going up her bum."
"Sure thing!" She squirted a clear gel on the palm of her hand and...
"Oh, Oh oooh!" She smeared all over my cock.
"Get going then, bend her over the desk... that’s right... grab her ears to hold her in place... and... push it in..."
*********
Just gradually increase the embarrassment. Get him naked. Make him pose in the nude. Bring him into the office... make him dance. Little by little and he won’t notice how he’s been manipulated. Until his cock is up... then...
**********
"Ooh! That feels tight!"
"And thrust... and thrust... and thrust... "
"Are you getting this Mindy... thrust... and thrust.. get a rhythm going... in time to Nelly the Elephant ... Sing Nelly the Elephant while you’re thrusting… that’s the way…”
And I sang.
‘Nelly the Ele…” Thrust. “ …phant packed her…” Thrust. “ …trunk and…” Thrust.
I hope you’re getting this Mindy..."
"No problem."
"And thrust... and thrust... nice arse... get his arse thrusting Mindy..."
"No problem."
"And stop!"
"But I was..." she'd stopped me on the brink, "I about to..."
"No you're not. Not yet anyway. We have to see how far you shoot. Mindy will film you shooting."
"Shooting who?"
"Not who... what! Shooting your cock off. We've got to see you perform."
"But..."
"No buts. Pull your cock out..."
"But..."
"But what?"
"It won’t come out." I pulled and I pulled, but I was unable to extract my throbbing appendage, "it’s too tight. I told you mine was too big."
"Nonsense. She’s expandable. Give him a hand Mindy."
But Mindy was standing there with a tube in her hand looking aghast.
"Monica..."
"Yes, What is it? Don’t just stand there you need to be pulling him out."
"You know when you said lubricate him."
"Yes?"
"Well the tube of super glue that I stuck her ear back on with was still in the box."
"So?"
"Well I lubricated him with that. His cock's glued up her bum."
"What!" I pulled and pulled.
"Don’t pull so hard, you'll pull it off!"
"I can’t pull my... Well it might stretch, but it won’t come off..."
"I meant the wonky ear not your cock!"
"What am I going to do."
"Mindy..."
"Yes Monica. Send for an ambulance, this is an emergency."
"And Mindy,"
"Yes Monica."
"Make us all a cup of coffee. The girls have got a bit overexcited watching."
The girls! I’d forgotten about the girls in the office. They’d been gathered round sitting on the desks, watching me up a rubber doll. In the nude. No wonder they were getting excited. And there was nothing I could do except stand there naked with my cock up Marilyn's bottom while we waited for the ambulance.
A girl came panting into the room wearing that rather smart cotton uniform that ambulance workers use. She was rather attractive, big bum, big tits - no evidence of a bra, looked rather like... oh my gosh! She looked just like Marilyn!
"What on earth..." she gasped on viewing the scene.
"He's got his penis stuck up her bum."
"Is it too big or something?"
"No, it’s not that big..."
"It is..." I said, "it’s nine inches."
"Don’t believe him. It’s only eight."
"In my experience that's a big one," said the ambulance girl, "you shouldn’t have pushed a big one like that up her bum Sir. It was bound to get stuck."
"It’s not that. She..." pointing at Mindy, "smeared it with superglue first."
"Well, I’ve come across some weird pranks in my time. There was this guy got a cucumber up his..."
"Never mind that," said Monica, "can you get his cock out. That’s a valuable doll!"
"Don’t know. We might have to cut it away."
"You can’t cut my... my... er... penis off."
"I didn’t mean that Sir. It won’t get cut off... except by accident of course."
"Can’t you use solvent or something."
"Of course Sir. Only joking."
"She took a can of spray from her bag and squirted it up Marilyn."
"Ow.. ow... ow...."
"Stings a bit I’m afraid Sir. If applied to delicate parts of the anatomy. It’s coming loose though and.."
A round of applause went round the girls in the office as my penis emerged. And... it was still engorged and still throbbing. Well, yours would be too if you were in the nude and girls were watching... and an ambulance girl in a smart uniform, with big big tits, and no bra...
"I’d better just rub some cream in Sir... it’s looking a bit pink and... oh dear...". It was not perhaps the wisest time to start rubbing a throbbing penis. "...oh dear!" The intensity of the throbbing increased, my balls started to contract, my whole body started to tingle until.. "oh dear, oh dear!"
"I hope you got that Mindy. He shoots rather well doesn’t he.. plenty of force. Sorry about that Miss... do you need a tissue... perhaps you shouldn’t have had your face so close..."
"That’s all right. I can take it on the chin."
**********
Apparently I passed the try-out and my casting shots will be sent to the casting directors. It seemed a rigorous audition to be the guy that delivers the pizzas to the naked girl, but I suppose they know what's needed. Anyway I'll pop round to day and see when I'll be needed.
**********
He came back the next day. Just as Monica said he would. I gave him my biggest smile.
"Er... good morning Mindy."
"Good morning Sir, What can we at Newton Evans and Verity Accountants do to help."
The website always catches them you see. Monica set it up of course. She said men who fill in questionnaires like that are fair game. Deserve what they get. Anyone who claims a nine inch penis gets called in for a try out. It never is nine inches, so serves them right for fibbing doesn’t it.
It’s a real laugh. I’m going to have to stick the other ear back on though. Better not mix up the tubes next time. I looked at him standing in front of the desk looking puzzled, like they all do. Still, it might not have been nine inches, but it was a big one.
"Fancy coming round to my place tonight?" I asked. Well I fancied a big one.
